It's Not That Deep, Man!
Beyond 'Spiritual Seriousness'
Hey rebel,
If life’s been feeling heavy recently, then this post is for you.
As is this week’s podcast on the same theme.
For a lot of the first three decades of my life, I felt like I was carrying a pretty heavy backpack around with me.
What was it full of?
Anxieties, fears and worries, for the most part.
There was a lot of future in that backpack.
The weight of all the things that could, might or would happen if…
And it wasn’t that fun.
I did find some seemingly effective solutions (that worked… until they made everything worse).
Namely, booze and a bunch of other substances.
When I stumbled into the world of spirituality and self-help in my late teens, I put the backpack down for a little while.
But ironically, that ‘journey’ became heavier and heavier as the years went on.
The very thing that I felt held the promise of freedom became a full-time job. And after a while, it was anything but light.
I was taking it all VERY seriously.
But what if it doesn’t have to be that deep?
And what if lightening up doesn’t have to be so heavy!
Really.
It’s not that deep, man!
In my past life as a teacher, I used to understand a small amount of the slang that was thrown around a UK secondary school.
(Because I had to, not because I’m cool.)
But these things change fast, and these days I’m well and truly out of the loop.
Now, the only updates I get come secondhand, from my partner, who still teaches part-time, and there is one phrase I love.
I think a lot of self-help junkies and spiritual seekers would benefit from knowing it too…
It’s not that deep!
Of course, there are times in life when it is ‘deep’.
When there are genuine challenges and painful moments to honour and open up to.
Times when we need to ‘get serious’ for a second while we get out of genuine danger.
But most of the time, we’re simply feeling the heaviness of our thinking, and we need to lighten the fuck up (yes, that’s the scientific term).
How many times in life have you been caught in a cycle of thinking that is weighing you down and not helping in the slightest?
Like you’re doom-scrolling in your mind’s eye social media feed, thinking the solution is there.
It rarely (if ever) is, by the way.
How many times do we play the ‘what if it all goes wrong?’ game and mess ourselves up in the process?
The usual self-help approach to this would be something like…
Notice when you’re playing the ‘what if it goes wrong?’ game, and challenge it.
Play the ‘what if it goes right game?’ instead.
Ingrain this as a habit.
Do some journaling.
etc. etc. etc.
And I’m not saying there is never a time to challenge a thought or reframe a circumstance.
But a lot of the time, we just need to notice ourselves and remember…
It’s not that deep, man.
In other words…
Lighten the fuck up and laugh at yourself.
The Ultimate Spiritual Way
About 15 years ago, I read a book called…
‘Fuck It - The Ultimate Spiritual Way’ by John C. Parkin.
And although I can’t remember all that much of what was in it, I can remember its key point…
Surrender, non-resistance and acceptance are essentially all forms of an inner ‘fuck it’ moment.
A moment where we loosen up and stop holding onto a bunch of thinking that we’ve been torturing ourselves with.
A moment where we honor the freedom that is always ours at our core (because it doesn’t depend on outside conditions).
This doesn’t mean we’re giving up.
This doesn’t mean life is perfect.
It may be anything but.
But it does mean that we don’t have to walk through life crushed by the heaviness of it all.
And boy oh boy it can get heavy when we hang onto Thought.
But that weight is always showing you where you’re holding on.
Like you’re refusing to let go of the weekly shopping after you arrive home.
So in this moment here together.
You and me.
Let’s take stock of where we’ve been holding on, and have a moment together.
Bring something to mind that you’ve been stewing on, and repeat after me…
“Fuck it.”
It can be a whisper (or a shout, if you feel called).
But feel the energy shift inside as you say…
“Fuck it!”
Just put it all down, and connect with what you are beneath it all.
The knowing that it is as it is.
But maybe it doesn’t have to be so heavy.
Or maybe, you really have been caught up about something that, in the bigger picture, doesn’t really matter at all.
Why are you doing this?
If you’re anything like me, you didn’t get into all this spiritual shit to start taking life more seriously.
You did it for the complete opposite reason.
To live with lightness and levity.
And there is a lot of seriousness in this ‘spiritual’ world.
A lot of wide-eyed, 200-dollar yoga pants, ‘what, you still watch trash TV?’ kind of seriousness.
And I say…
FUCK IT.
You do you, rebel.
Fuck ‘the spiritual path’.
Live Your Truth instead.
My truth is that it all got a little bit serious there for a while.
And it’s much more fun to play.
And laugh.
And be silly from time to time.
It’s ALL spiritual.
It’s ALL the infinite intelligence of life.
It’s all God.
So it really doesn’t matter.
And if that’s the case…
You might as well enjoy the ride.
If you’ve read this far, go hit that like button and leave me a ‘fuck it’ in the comments 😂😎🔥.
Big love,
Sam
PS Don’t forget to check out this week’s podcast…
PPS There are a lot of really cool changes in the works for Rebel Spirituality!
I've had a lot of insights recently about how the next iteration of this adventure will run (coming late summer / early autumn 2025).
If you would like to be amongst the first the know about things - be sure to pop your name on this waitlist and I'll keep you posted!
Being a prudish American (LOL), I searched ChatGPT for some alternatives to put here instead of "F- it!" Pretty amusing list, so I am sharing it here! (Pro tip - read them all aloud with great gusto, in the spirit of Sam's post!)
• "Welp, send it!"
• "YOLO, I guess."
• "Into the chaos I go."
• "Time to roll the dice and insult the gods."
• "Release the kraken!"
• "Guess we ball."
• "Let the chips fall… and then eat them."
• "Plot twist: I don’t care anymore."
• "This is above my pay grade—yeet."
• "Let’s make some poor choices."
• "Screw it."
• "To heck with it."
• "I’m over it."
• "So be it, so send it."
• "Whatever, man."
• "Let chaos reign!"
• "And thus, I leap into the void."
• "I hereby declare: no more cares to give."
• "By the power vested in me, I’m doing it anyway."
• "Kiss my spreadsheet goodbye."
• "I have consulted the squirrels. They approve."
• "Caution: brain has left the building."
• "Time to toss this turkey in the fan."
• "Let’s circle back… never."
• "Per my last email: I quit caring."
• "We’ll fix it in post."
• "Adding it to the parking lot of my soul."
• "This is now a tomorrow problem."
• "Moving this to the 'vibes' folder."
• "Let’s just pivot into the abyss."
• "I release this into the universe… and walk away."
• "Let the winds of karma handle it."
• "May the chakras sort it out."
• "Radical acceptance… of nonsense."
• "I surrender… to the cosmic 'meh.'"
• "Namaste, but nope."
• "Aligning my energy with ‘whatever.’"
• "Swiped right on chaos."
• "What could go wrong? (Everything.)"
• "Lowering my standards in 3…2…1…"
Yes to the levity. Yes to the lightness, and letting go. “Fuck it”! Hilarious! I gotta say, I do like going deep and love feeling the richness and texture of it AND letting it go. I feel like it’s awesome to explore and then catch myself getting mired, cry and laugh at myself. Part of the trip, man. Fuck it. It ain’t that deep. Ha! Yep.